Well, I'm not going to talk about Christmas (or the Holidays) and catch you up, because it wasn't that great. I seriously do think that, if I don't go back on antidepressants before then, I really will go on them just for the Holiday season. I am not saying this to be funny: I think that I have issues that are so deeply ingrained (thanks to the most part to my mother. I really don't want to hate on her, but it's the truth and I have to face it in order to deal with it and someday heal) and associated with Christmas that I am going to have to use antidepressants until I somehow figure out how to overcome them.
But right after Christmas? Hallelujah! I feel so much better. Like ME again, not depressive me, but me sans antidepressants, and feeling really great.
Also, I am not going to write about resolutions. Of course, pretty much everyone goes into the New Year with high expectations of basically being a better person, which is great. But realistically, everything does not magically change because the clock hits midnight. So I refuse to dwell and actually have resolutions.
What I AM going to do tonight is finish this up and wrap up the night with my littlest (the other two are with Grandparent's), and enjoy every moment as it is with her.
Then once she's asleep, I am going to begin meditation. Hopefully, by the time midnight rolls around I'll still be meditating (the idea scares me- meditating that long- I never have, but I'm going to do it!) and I am going to host in the New Year with peace.
I often talk about meditation and how I'm using it to deal with my depression (and it works! It really does!) SO for all of you novices (and other's too) here is the best article I have found (by far) to get you started. It sums up everything I've been doing with the Silva meditation, but this is a different guy- Deepak Chopra- who was on Dr. Oz, so he must be fabulous, right??? (ha ha)
Do yourself a favor and give it a go. And the most important part- don't get frustrated if you can't just sit for 30 minutes, 15 minutes, 5 minutes, or even 1 minute without your mind wandering. Meditation, like anything else, takes practice. Just be okay with it and continue. One minute of trying is better than none at all.
Oh! And I just want to mention quickly that I've been seeing messages from a lot of you on some of my posts and I love it. I love that I'm not alone. I love that you're reading and sharing. I love that yes! You, too, don't want to live in a world where you need to take antidepressants, or you, too, can't get motivated and get annoyed at yourself because of it. Depressives often feel alone, but let me tell you- WE ARE NOT ALONE. I have "met" some awesome people in the 5 months since I started this blog. I hope to meet more in 2012.
Happy New Year.
And I really mean it.